It is 3am, so please bear with me...
The Lust card is near and dear to my heart for a number of reasons. Most of which have nothing to do directly with sex. I had several years to study the proof of this card in all of it's first print 8 plate glory. Last weekend I finally understood it.
The Cub is having issues and I dragged my Tiger down to Venice Beach to talk to HCOMA. She (your mileage may vary) is the Enochian angel in charge of all things fluid. I am talking about a really cosmic flowing sense, not just water. Over the years we have developed a lovely relationship and the beach has always provided a clear place to chat.
As I waddled down to the beach by myself ( quite a sight in and of itself) HCOMA was literally omnipresent. My goal was to work with her to bring about some healing for the Cub. It was old mother magick at it's simplest and finest. Since that 200 yard trip took a while, an interesting download of elemental forces in balance was downloaded. Everything about that area was flowing: the very wet sea air, the sand under my feet and even the marine layer of rain clouds above me. I was in the right place and she was EVERYWHERE.
And then something unexpected happened. Babalon showed up.
It was as if a pantheon of Great Ladies filed in behind me in an amphitheater to watch the show of the ocean. Normally I would have been disconcerted by several of the Great Ladies just showing up unannounced, but somehow it was I who crashed the party. I stepped into a current without recognizing that I was there.
At an earlier time during the Gnostic Mass Babalon had admonished me not to work with her energies because they were destructive to me at this point. So her appearance made me a bit uneasy. She then stepped forward and explained her earlier advice. She told me at this point in my life her energies could be akin to lack of self preservation that a mother feels for her child. We would die for them without question, but that is not conducive to their life before they are born. We are a unit for the duration and my self preservation instincts must be tiptop or I will injure the Cub. Then I got a flash of the Lust Card and the line from the Gnostic Mass about "admonishing the Great Sea". Then she went on to explain that her energies could be considered akin to orgasm and that it is self destructive in its completion.
In the Gnostic Mass there is a part where the deacon is reading from the Saints list to help get the priest into a spiritually erect state. The list is a list of male Gnostic Saints. They are what make up this spiritual erection. Suddenly spirituality and biology collided and I finally got it. The blood of the saints that she is drunk on has nothing to do with human sacrifice, it has everything to do with how humans get erections. Sometimes I can be rather dense.
I smiled and as the thought percolated in my consciousness, she stood back in the line of Great Ladies.
As I reached the waters edge, I was struck by how LOUD HCOMA was there. As I prepared my sigils and prayers, something odd happened. The planetary sigil for Jupiter that I was going to use, completely blanked out of my mind. Now mind you this is a sigil that I have constructed literally hundreds of times and I have a photographic memory. At this point I realized that this was a hamster kick to pursue another avenue. I pondered for a moment and constructed another sigil for the sand. As I completed the sigils and waited for the ocean to wash way my prayer, I noticed a series of what looked like small out outcroppings of seaweed. When I reached down to unearth one, I noticed that they were not seaweed but closed and living bivalves. They were ocean muscles. I laughed loud enough that even the sea gulls were frightened. This related directly to some of the Cubs issues and I took this as a wonderful sign of confirmation that my prayers had been accepted.
It is a very tightly woven tapestry indeed.
As I wadded into the water a bit, I was instructed to take a few particular shells to place back on my altar. Normally, I would leave the shells where they were but this was low tide and specific instructions. They were a larger half shell and smaller half shell.
Yesterday I went in to the doctor for follow up tests. While the original issue is still there, it does not appear to be impacting the Cub in the least. He is big for his age and feisty. This is how magickal healing has traditionally worked for me. The outward appearances are still there but they present no issues.
So mote it be.