This morning as I rolled out of bed at 6 am, the good Frater wished me a good ride and good luck. I give him great credit for not pointing out the obvious of "uhm what are you thinking...." instead it was just a cautious look and a good luck kiss.
I remembered something today about inertia. As I rode into work the 11 glorious miles it took, the gematria of the number was not lost upon me. 11 is the number of the magickian in one of my traditions. It is the combination of the fire of Geburah with the solar umph of Tiperath. It is the combination of the 5 and 6, the pentacle and the hexagram, the microcosm and the macrocosm. OK you get the picture.
Well to be quite honest I was not sure if I could do this. I had a really good idea that I wanted to do this. But... 11 miles is a long way for an old woman who is more spherical than sphelt these days. 11 miles by myself, down dangerous surface streets and interesting area of downtown. This occured to me about 2 minutes into the ride.
That was about the time that I attempted to shift from 4th to 1st and the chain completely left the sprocket. I pulled over and examined the situation. Suddenly I was filled with self doubt
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???" went racing through my head. "
I am only down the street I could turn back now...."
Then suddenly, I realized...
"Wait every 8 year old knows how to do this and I am an experienced 8 year old with an engineering background." In no time flat, without the aid of any tools, that chain was back where it belonged. Victory was mine and I could taste it!
I got back on the bike and peddled my pink posterior to work 40 minutes later.
As I was nearing the finish, I realized that this is precisely what we do magickally everyday. We are really not sure where we are going. We have an idea, but the route is not all planned out. We take it on faith that we have the ovum to do what we have not done before. We have the ovum to push ourselves, fall, pick ourselves back up and march down the road with our pink streamers flailing in the air. OK maybe that last part is just me, but you get the idea.
At times I questioned my sanity on committing to do such a thing in the middle of finals prep. Then I realized that exercise is a great stress reducer. I was reminded of the Greek ideals of study, exercise and spiritual pursuits. At the end of the 11 miles I was hot sweaty and very clear headed. I remembered at the end that I am one stubborn gal and sometimes that is required to just bite down and push through. Sometimes it is good to be reminded of our own strength when we forget. I think I am ready for finals :) Bring it on.