So today I took the first of my math exams with my spiffy shrinky dink mercury sigil firmly in my pocket. As far as I can tell the test went remarkably well. The test was on limits and the joke above is freaking hysterical if you are in the right burned out math mood. Yes, I almost laughed myself out of my chair when I saw this one. It might just be completely boring if you are not a math nerd :)
Frater POS pointed out in his blog that I had a "unique blend" of styles. I think that is short hand for "I have no freaking clue how you do what you do..." Yet my long suffering one does support me in my pursuits (magickal and otherwise) and that is what is important :) The beauty of my path is that you feel your way through it and make course corrections as you go. The road map is much more fluid than traditional CM but I am perfectly willing to borrow from it.
The point of making and eating the sigil was not so that I would miraculously download all of calculus in a single bite. The phrase that kept running through my mind was an odd mantra from the Liber Al about opening the Kabbs and the Khu. I was hoping to light a candle in the dark and follow the light. My goal was to bring up the intelligence and the spirit of Mercury to guide me. My goal was not to suddenly become all knowing without any work. That thought really never occurred to me. The funny thing about the Work is that it is always Work.
This was pointed out to me by screaming example today before the test. I was in my professors office asking a few pointed questions that I could not get clear on my own this weekend. I spend the break between classes in his office asking for clarification before I get totally lost EVERYDAY. He is a patient and very kind man. He also is an incredible teacher who understands this stuff backwards and forwards. So when 4 of the coddled pretty babies came toddling in at 5 minutes until the test to tell him and I quote:
"Uhm yeah we don't think that you are teaching very well because we just don't get it. We have only like 1/2 a page of notes and we are just not getting it."
I glared at them and left him to discuss it with them. By the time he came to class this very nice man was visibly shaken by their comments. I was livid. How dare they give no effort ( besides wandering down the snack bar at noon to grab sodas for 20 minutes during class) and then try to make it his fault that they don't get it. Perhaps if they were not in the back row being far too cool for the rest of us, it would come easier. I was pissed mainly because they had been used to giving it no effort at their previous schools and just because they were cute or handsome they were given certain passes. It works for a while, but cool wears off and cute can age badly.
With any luck this will be a wake up call to them. Though somehow I seriously doubt it. I suspect that they were there to plead for a different test of some grade leniency.
The test went well and I will see how the process turns out on Weds. Regardless I believe that my weekend study went better than expected with the talisman.
Now if I can just come up with a lesser banishing of the vapidly stupid I will be in business. Though business might be too booming :)
I Am Still Here
5 months ago