In my tune shuffling this week I came across Billy Joel's Allentown. It talks about the USO and when I got home that night I wondered what those folks were up to these days. Growing up a hippy/ military brat you learn early on "Hate the war, support the troops". Those guys and gals have done just that since WWII.
So I was researching away when I came across their want ads. In another life I would gladly go and travel the world. I have gypsy's heart and live to learn and explore. My life is wonderful now and I am quite happy to be right where I am at :)
Though the ads made my hamster spin a bit. There is Duty Manager opening in Iraq and several other war zones. Some of their main duties were game system maintenance. These were kids we were talking about. Kids in Gods awful situations that no one should have to live through or see. I realized that I am now old enough to be the mother to some of the folks over there right now. I have raised children that are well past draft age. It was a humbling paradigm shifting moment.
At 19 I lived in Yugoslavia during the war. It seems worlds away and like yesterday. I thought in a different life I could do that job. I am a classic enabler and have the ability to make any place home and comfy for those around me. Skills hard learned in the school of life. So I had sort of figured you do it once you could do it again.
That night I went to sleep and had a SERIES of three brutal dreams. They were disjointed and sort of hodgepodge. Each of them they ended with someone that I don't know in life, but did in the dream dying by violent wounds in my lap. The last one killed himself in front of me by putting a series of bullets in his head and then fell on me. He trapped me under him and I was helpless to stop him. This was a full sensory experience, I smelled the gun powder and the blood. I woke with a start and was too horrified to even breath. I just layed there in shock.
I will consider this a hamster reality kick. Being part of one war and seeing the horrors it entails does not make me immune to the horrors of all war. I was in Yugoslavia without a full understanding of what I was getting into. Ignorance is bliss and experience is a bastard.
I think that I could be very good at that job; I would just not ever be functional in any way ever again.
Gods bless and peace to all.
I Am Still Here
8 months ago