So I spent most of yesterday in route or at the regional liver clinic. I stared at the detailed pictures like the one above, that are all over medical offices and tried to figure out how my system works. I was only slightly concerned about the flip chart over the exam table that had a list of emergency procedures and numbers.
All I could think of was "I am at one of the best hospitals in the world, with some of the best doctors in the world and they have a chart for what to do in an emergency? If this is really necessary I am so screwed or in the wrong spot!!!!"
At the end of the day I determined that the system, all of it, was magick and just to move on. Though the Divine Architect has a great sense of humor. There is an artery in the liver called the Proper Hepatic Artery. (See too much time on my hands staring at a chart never ends well...) I really wanted to ask if there was an improper one somewhere else. Like it had just gotten into a fight with the liver and was now sleeping on the couch of the lungs. Too much time on my hands coupled with medical stress always leads me to innappropriate humor. I just realized yesterday though, I get it from the least likely source. My father.
My father was brave enough to drive me up there and I was quite concerned on how that would go. I know that the whole bit with my liver gives him abject fear, but he was happy to be DOING something about it. He is an action verb kind of guy. He is lousy at the Zen of the process. I am amused that the older I get the more funny my father gets. I realize now that he was always funny but growing up he was always REALLY quiet. I am sure now that he was concerned that it was not appropriate humor. Now he just tells it like it is warts and all. We laughed ALL day. It helped that it was 115 at home and 65 and breezy up there. We started calling everyone we knew to rub it in :)
Sometimes my horrific procrastination pays off. After a serious review of my 200 plus page chart the specialists are moving in some directions that my local doctors just cannot. There is a fairly new procedure that was really just publicly put forward a few years ago. The local doctors don't have that specialty or experise and so it was good to go. They are looking at procedures that they are the only ones in the area that do and they have 100 percent success rate. They have done 800 of them, so the percentages mean something :)
Sometimes my procrastination does not pay off. The specialists were also concerned that liver was showing some bad signs that they were none too pleased with. It also turns out that the tests that my doctors down here are looking at are really not good indicators of the livers state. Nice. Well it won't matter anyway. With all of the magick that has been done, I am just going to confuse the hell out of all of their tests anyway. It appears that once again there is no magickal whiteout, but the Will of the Magickian will be achieved. At the end of the day the procedure will result in weight loss which was the original intent of my poorly worded sex magick ritual. It turns out that weight loss often allows the liver to heal itself. Oh the great freaking irony. (Somewhere in the distance a Mem can be heard being vibrating it's cycle of completion)
In fact the procedures are more alchemical in nature than they realize and I am not about to explain it to them. They will be cutting away parts of me that are not me and not benificial. Humm sounds a bit like alchemy to me. The process will not modify the function just streamline the organ. Humm sounds like the Great Work. After all is said and done I will need to modify my behavior to work more on moderation, but nothing will be completely off limits. Yes I admit it, I am amused as I read Liber Oz over the computer.
Somedays I am jealous of the CM folks who have these nice linear ritual bits that happen in planned and orderly ways. Mine always seems to be moving in some revolving concentric circle. Just when I think that this bit is independent of the whole, it comes back around and smacks me in the head. Such a magickal universe.
I Am Still Here
5 months ago