Part of the alchemical process is turning that spiritual lead to gold. No one warns you that the process also becomes a really big bright and shiny trap. This information you usually get right AFTER you needed it. The first time I saw this phenomenon I was actually part of that trap. It was how I met my first magickal mentor.
Without so much as a hello I walked up to him ( a total stranger) pointed to a scarab necklace he was wearing and boldly said "When you die can I have that?" Now weird stuff has been known to tumble out of my mouth but this was a high point of weird even for me. Many moons down the path the statement makes a whole lot more sense. We both now tell the story. Only his version starts off with "You know someone is attracted to the work when..."
So after many personal explosions and alchemical moments of Zen, I am amused to watch the process again unfold. Frater POS is getting pretty bright and shiny these days. I knew that the first time I met him, but least I digress.
I am now of the opinion that the work leads the ego to pull out all of the stops. It starts to lay at your feet whatever it is that you think you want. Sex, money, accolades, acceptance... whatever you WANT. If your universe is in balance and your link with your HGA is firmly made, then you take what you want and keep walking. If not this trap of satisfying your lower needs becomes the Hotel California. "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave..."
So what is the big deal? I mean isn't that a PERK of the work? I would say yes and no. When that perk becomes a driving force then you realize that you are no longer a Theurgist but have suddenly become a full time Thamaturgist. So what is the big deal? The big deal is that you stop. You graze from the field of plenty and forget that this is just a small lawn in a much larger area. Inertia is the trap.
Now that I know that. I am not so sure that I will be of any use to anyone who actually needs it. Seeing the trap and stepping around it are two different things. We will all get the lessons we need whether we like it or not :)
Speaking of which I had an odd lesson today. The backstory is not publishable but the highlights are that I work well in the world of Terrafim. This is an old ancient tradition of talking to dead relatives. Honestly I had been doing it long before I had a name for it. I can thank the ancient tribes of Israel for that one. I had a need to contact someone who has been gone from Malkulth for quite a while. Usually I stick with MY ancestors, but that was just not functional in this case. I am starting there though, because my next option was Sekmet and she is a messy eater.
I dragged a chair out in my grove this evening and attempted to contact this person. I grabbed my druids horn and filled it with water. My Hamster stated that emotion and pure water would be easier to attach to the person and to make sure that I found the right one.
I sat in the chair facing South and began to drink and then meditate. Since I did not have a physical signature for this person, I started by calling his name and in association with those that he was closest to in this life. I closed my eyes and started calling. The grove started to spin a bit on the astral. My body felt like it was made of heavy dense rock and I knew that I could not have moved if I had wanted to. I continued to call using the names of the loved ones and eventually got to a point of seeing a collection of lines that were forming geometric shapes. It was all gray with white lines. At one point I was concerned about where I had landed and so I started to push out the Banners of the East and West and also a unicursal hex.
Suddenly I was in a 1950's kitchen chatting with this man. It was a white kitchen with a Formica table and we were sitting in white chairs. We were sitting not across but catty corner to the table. I didn't bother to introduce myself as he seemed to already know who I was. I just cut to the chase about the issues that I was having and requested that he do what he could mitigate the situation. He smiled at me in a wide peaceful smile and stated "Tell .... that I am already working on it." There was a distinct sadness in his manner and he said that he missed her. I thanked him for his time and he faded into the dissolving images. As he went he was whistling.
When I opened my eyes I was crying. I have not been particularly emotional today, so I find it odd. Was it all in my head and good imagination? Maybe. Time will tell if my requests come to pass. I will try to be objective about the whole thing.
Off to sleep... perchance to dream.
I Am Still Here
10 months ago